This guy i know was in the town
at the weekend, he was trying to phone his girlfriend but he had ran
out of money on his mobile. So he found a payphone, one of the
ones that you need a card for, but the only card he had on him was his
donor card, out of curiosity he put it in the phone -
the phone call ended up costing him an arm and a leg!!
A trucker who has been out on
the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Melbourne. He walks
straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your
ugliest woman and a devon sandwich!!" The Madam is astonished. "But
sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and
a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen Darlin, I ain't
horny, I'm homesick."
A redneck walks into a
hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that will cut 6 trees in one
hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model.
The redneck is suitably impressed and buys it.
The next day he brings it
back and says "This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down
one tree and it took all damn day!"
The salesman takes the chainsaw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and the puzzled redneck says, "Heck, what's that noise?"